this ferious time he felt any pecu liar impreffions on his own mind; he answered that he had not. I then asked him if he had not lately thought more on ferious fubjectsHe faid he had and believed that there was not one man in town but had; but he actually appeared no more concerned for his foul than the generality of people at other times.

on for nearly a week, when the impreffions came fo close that he finally gave in that he must retire and make a business of prayer.The next day or next but one after this point was established, he was attacked in the fame manner by his confcience as diftinctly as if fome one fpoke to him, You muft pray in your family; O no, fays he, that I can't do, "But yon must do it," no, it is not neceffary, 'tis not commanded, "But 'tis your duty, &c. Thus the dialogue continued for almost another week, and finally he was obliged to yield to the impreffion. But not being in heart difpofed to comply, and not being converfant in prayer he became very uneafy, and one kind of guilt and another from time to time starting up into his mind, he began to be greatly diftreffed; yet he determined no one fhould know it; he used all his art to fupprefs his feelings efpeciallying in the evening where his refobefore people, but nothing would anfwer; he was finally obliged to own himself a hell-deferving creature, before the face of all, and after a feason of powerful conviction and heavy diftrefs he found comfort in fubmitting to God.

Another man of 35 years, refpectable for his good fenfe and judgment, is also an inftance which I would mention. He was at first difaffected to the work that was among us. He had oppofed the diftinguishing doctrines of the gofpel, not because he did not fee them in the Bible, but through a difrel ish of them. He contrived to think that poflibly, there was fome wrong tranflation, or that fome words had been foilted in by defigning men; and with this impofition on himself relted easy con cerning them. Being about to preach at his houfe in the latter part of March, I afked him, if in

In reading over my text, the latter part of which was, "who hold the truth in unrighteousness;" Almighty God deeply impreffed him with a conviction that he was the very man; that he had held the truth in unrighteoufnefs. In the courfe of the fermon he came to the most fixed refolutions to reform and lead a better life. He felt it important to delay no longer; and that the falvation of his foul was of immediate and infinite importance. He attended a meet

lutions received greater confirmation. But as he was walking home alone, fo earnestly engaged and refolute, the fpirit of the Lord gave him an extraordinary fenfe of his perfect weaknefs and infufficiency, and indeed of the total moral depravity of his heart; and the conviction was fo clear, that all his hopes were dashed to pieces, and he became fully fenfible, that nothing but the grace of an Almighty fovereign could help him. But whether fuch a vile, ungodly, obftinate finner as he was, could ever partake of that grace, was matter of great doubt and anxiety. He almoft defpaired of it, and spent the whole night in horrorwithout a moment's fleep. The next day he attempted to labor but his mind was too much abforbed in the view of his certain guilt and expofedness to everlasting ruin to allow it. He attended a les

tion. About the dawn of day he had fome new views of the prepriety of fubmitting to God, usconditionally; and that it was a thing moft fuitable and excellent that Jehovah fhould do his pleaíure concerning all things. His obftinacy now gave way; he thought he could acquiefce in the divine fovereignty, and immediately found relief. The thought that all God's adminiftrations were per fectly holy, juft and good; that he would do nothing but that which the best interefts of the univerfe required, gave him a calmnefs of mind to which he had been a perfe&t stranger. But all this time it did not enter into his mind that he fhould be faved; on the coLtrary it was his prevailing opinion that he must be rejected, for the wrath of God was revealed from

ture, hoping to receive that help
and those good affections which
he knew he ought to have. But
in this he was difappointed. In-
ftead of having his heart melted
and mended, he found it more un-
feeling and inattentive, for he look
ed to the means and not to the God
of falvation. This increased his
apprehenfions of his danger, he
debated whether it would be best
to attend the evening meeting, left
he fhould be made ftill more unfeel-
ing, but finally concluded he would
attend. Here, alfo, he found him-
felf more flupid than before, and
began to conclude that nothing
could affect him; that God would
moft certainly refufe his grace, and
he thought he justly might. Then
a fenfe of the all powerful, and all-
fecing God made him tremble in
every part, he lept none this night.
In the morning, after fome inef-heaven against him. As foon as
fectual attempts to attend upon his it was light enough to fee, he read
fecular concerns, he thought of vi- a few verfes in the bible, and fet
fiting me. He came, but found no out to walk a small diftance; but
relief. In the afternoon he at- the impreffions were fo powerfal
tended a fermon at a funeral, but on his mind as induced him for a
this feemed rather to harden him; moment to flop. In this moment
a merciful God in all these attempts a number of texts of fcripture
fhewing him the defperate wicked- came to him as diflinctly as if they
nefs of his heart, the infufficiency had been fpoken by fome other mas,
of human aid, and cutting him off fuch as thefe, Come unto me ye tha
from every dependence but his own labour and are heavy laden. Ha
infinite grace. He became more every one that thirfleth, Sc. and
and more fenfible of his wretched- a number of others which he did
nefs, and the fources of that wretch- not recollect to have heard or read
He now conela.
edness; he found that his decitful for a long time.
heart would look to any thing but ded it was the Lord of glory ad-
But the
to God through Chrift for help; dreffing his word to kim
hence he concluded it was perfect inference was not fuch as proud
and felf-conceited fanatics would
enmity against God; and if God
did not appear in a way of fove-draw-namely, that he fhould be
reign mercy, he maft perifh eter.
Dally.

This evening being exhaufted, he had an hour or two of broken fleep, but awaked to keener feelings, He felt himflf all night in a moit forlorn and uncomfortable fitua

faved, for God was now his firend.
on the contrary he concluded that
Jefus addreffed him in this man
ner to fhew him the aggravation of
And his re-
his condemnation.
fections were most pungent and
bitter, "O, what a Saviour I have

rejected-how able and ready, close of that year, he obtained a

has he been to help and fave me -but I have rejected him and held all his truths in unrighteouf⚫ nefs-eternal death is my portion, in fpite of all the love and merits of Jefus he has in perfect juftice turned against me and I cannot open my mouth to com'plain." With reflections like thefe he walked backwards and forwards a few minutes, wringing his hands in fearful agony, as being now certain of his miferable doom for eternity. At this time thefe words came into his mind as distinctly as before, "Have I not done enough for you? Have you not stood out against me long enough?" An overcoming power attended these words fo that he was constrained to cry, 46 yes, O. yes Lord, I bow to thee, O make me what thou wilt."

This was fucceeded by a ferenity and peace which he never felt be. fore and of which he had no idea. It was divine refreshment to a foul diffolved in penitence and love.

The day before this he told a friend that it seemed to him, if ever he should be fo happy as to obtain an intereft in Chrift, he could never pray in his family, because he was fuch an ignorant and

hope that he had paffed from death unto life. But no representations could induce him to pray in his family. This man being the next fpring convinced of the falle grounds of his hope-gave it up, and after great diftrefs, obtained comfortble acquaintance with the doctrines of the gofpel and the way of life by Jefus Chrift. After this he found that all the obstacles which hindered family worship were of no weight, that it was only the want of a religious heart that prevented him. And his views and feelings being now apparently changed, he could introduce it with joy.

From this narrative you are not to conclude that a reformation has reached every perfon in the own or the focieiy; on the contrary it is to be feared that great numbers remain deftitute of faving grace.Many have not been impreffed at all, many have loft what they had

and fome are more difcontentedwith gospel truths than ever.

May God of his infinite mercy bring them to repentance! Amen. Yours, &c.

JOSHUA WILLIAMS. Harwinton, December 1800.

helpless creature. But this morn-Memoirs of Mrs. H, who

ing he foon returned into his houfe, called his family together and poured forth fuch strains of adoration and acknowledgement, and

clofed a life of exemplary piety with Chriftian comfort and refig

nation.

fuch fervent prayers as melted the EARLY in life fhe was a sub

family into tears. I will only add that his apparent perfeverance gives reason to believe that this was not a mere delfiuon.

ject of ferious impreffions, obtained a hope in Chrift, and made a profeffion of religion. She was far from being confident and affured when speaking of the exercifes of her mind; but gave good evidence to others that her hope was well founded. Her life ap

Another perfon, whofe wife joined the church in the fummer of 1798, was deeply impreffed at that circumftance, although noth-peared to be that of a pious, pray. ing that was faid to him could af erful, humble and exemplary fect him before. Towards the Chriftian. In the management VOL. I. No. 12. Mm m

How fweet death is. It is pleafant as the morning, fweet as the honey and honey comb, to go to my dear Redeemer." Seafons of focial prayer were exceedingly precious in her fight; and on fuch occafions the appeared remarkably fervent and devout. Her joy was at times like that defcribed by the Apoitle, "Whom having not feen ye love. In whom, tho now ye fee him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unfpeakable and full of glory."

of the concerns of her family fhe abroad in her foul. Her heart wa was difcreet and prudent. The filled with fuch raptures of joy a heart of her husband fafely truft- overcame the fears of death, dif ed in her. To her children the armed the king of terrors, and was a tender and affectionate pa- rendered him lovely in her fight, rent, a pious and able counfellor. as a meffenger of peace. With Such was the general character fuch views the feveral times exthe exhibited in life; but the prin- preffed herself to the minifter, as cipal defign of this fketch is to de- he called to vifit her, in nearly the fcribe fome of the leading exer- following words. As he came to cifes of her mind during her laft the fide of the bed, on which the fickness. In the firft ftage of her lay, expecting hourly to depart, illnefs, having little hope of re- fhe took him by the hand, and is covery, he was greatly tried with a cheerful voice, and with joy inthe thought of leaving her chil-preffed on her countenance, faid dren, who were most of them in that period of life when moft expofed to be deceived and led aitray by the allurements, amufements and vanities of the world. She found it difficult to bring her mind to a willingness to part with them, and to commit them wholly to God. This inordinate anxiety, and want of confidence in the great difpofer of all things the greatly lamented. It feemed to be the chief fource of her trouble. She did not with the clergyman of the fociety, when he called to vif it her, to pray for her life, but that he might be entirely refigned to the divine will. This refigna.cribed all the good, which the extion the foon obtained in a very confiderable degree; and faid that the was willing to give all up, to commit herself, her children, and all her concerns into the hands of God. To preferve and establish her mind in this patient, refigned and fubmiffive trame, the would frequently reflect upon the fuffer. ings of Chrift, to which he cheer-religion lay near her heart. She fully fubmitted in our flead, and mention the impropriety and inexcafabieness of our complaints un der trials and fufferings comparatively fmall, and which fall fo far Lelow our defert.

She uniformly manifefted a thorough conviction and feeling fenfe of her intire unworthinefs, and af

perienced, or hoped for, to the free grace of God, through the merits of the Redeemer. To her husband and friends bewailing her expected death, the addreffed the words of Chrift, "Weep not for me, but weep for yourfelves and for your children. The falvation of fouls and the profperity of

urged it upon her family and others to make religion their chief purfuit. This the enforced by her words but more powerfully by her example. Her peace and comfort of mind continued to the laft. At times the love of Cod Having finished her couric fhe fell feemed to be remarkably thedaflcey in Jefus, and as we truit u

gone to her Saviour, in whom she | mercy, and of having others belo much delighted. come veffels of wrath, fitted for deftruction.

In fcripture much is faid refpecting the pleasures of religion, and its confolations in times of trial. When we fee fuch declarations exemplified, the power, the joys and the supports of religion felt and evidenced, we are led more fully to believe in the divine promifes, and more feelingly to realize the excellency of religion. When we fee perfons, languishing on a bed of fickness, under a lively fenfe of the near approach of death, of their own characters as guilty and ill-deferving, and of the perfect holiness and juftice of God, experience inexpreflible joy in con templating the divine character, and through faith in Chrift triumph over death and the grave; the righteous muft feel their faith ftrengthened, and be enabled more fervently to praise and adore their glorious Redeemer who is thus mighty to fave. Sinners alfo at fuch times are conftrained to pay an involuntary tribute to religion, and to join with Balaam in saying, "Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his."

PHILO.

TO THE EDITORS OF THE CON-
NECTICUT EVANGELICAL MAG-

AZINE.

GENTLEMEN,

THE following thoughts are offered for your inspection. Romans ix. 13. Jacob have I lov. ed, but Efau have I hated.

Tis conceived that the con

By God's hating Efau is not meant that God exercifed any malice or malevolence towards him. God is not a malicious being. But he exercises a benevolent good will towards all his rational creatures. He had a benevolent regard to Efau's happiness. But his berevolence feeks the highest happiness of his holy kingdom, and not the greatest individual happinefs of all and each of his creatures. And God's ultimate end in forming a rational creature is not the individ ual happinefs or mifery of that creature; but his ultimate end is his own glory, or, what amounts to the fame, the glory and blessednefs of his holy kingdom. And God, in determining to give exif tence to fuch a perfon as Efau, faw it would be moit for the glory and bleffednefs of his kingdom, to give up the holiness and happiness of Efau, and let him become a veffel of wrath, fitted for deftruction. And therefore God comparatively hated him; that is, God had infinitely greater love to himself and to his holy kingdom, than to E. sau, as an individual. God was not deftitute of benevolence towards Efau. Ffau's individual happiness was as dear to God, as the individual happiness of Jacob, fuppofing them to have equal capacity to enjoy happinefs. But the individual good or happiness of Efau must be given up for the fake of a greater good. God in the exercife of his benevolence must regard objects according to their worth. As God's holy kingdom, with himself at the head, is of in

It is conceived that the with Bnitely more worth than fuch an

the context leads us to confider God's eternal purpofe of forming fome of mankind to be reffels of

individual as Efau, God can, in perfect wisdom and love, difpenfe with Efau's good or happiness,