pression of incredulity, whether the Memorial of the Ancient Shu' was a legitimate production of a veritable Celestial. Certainly; and its translation was made and forwarded to London by Mr. GUTZLAFF, precisely as was stated in our last number. Let us follow the narrative a little farther:

THE Ancient SHU did not bear himself in idleness. He called out the militia, fitted out a number of fire-ships, and ordered our brave mariners, each of them to swim off in leathern habits, and aided by bladders filled with air, attack the barbarians' vessels. The great eventful day dawned; our troops penetrated into Ningpo, but were mowed down by hundreds, under the balls of the red rebels. We could not get these miscreants to wait for our attack; our best soldiers marched away, and whole regiments followed the example. They had, alas! no opportunity to make use of their daggers; otherwise not one of the theives would have remained alive. Our fire-ships too, exploded in the air without doing any damage to the enemy: we could no ways account for this misfortune. Another battle was afterwards fought near Tsekt, where the flower of our soldiery, who had been brought all the way from the Turkistan borders, completely routed the barbarians, according to the official reports. But the army then marched back to their old quarters at Pikkuan. This was the great victory obtained by YUKING, who refused from that time to take the field again, seeing that his fame was now established and consummated. Soon afterwards we drove the barbarians out of Ningpo, but we would not render them quite desperate, and therefore allowed them to leave a post at the entrance of the Hya river, near Tshinbai. Nevertheless, the vagabonds, instead of keeping quiet at Tshushan, as was their duty, marched direct on Tshopu, which they captured. ILIPU was now despatched to this point, and Old SHU with him, for the purpose of counselling them to a peaceful course. We found the barbarians in no sort of mood to retreat, which made ILIPU's wrath to kind e exceedingly. It was much to be deplored that ILLIIT was no longer to be seen; for as to Pock (POTTINGER), the new man, nothing was to be done with him. The barbarians ventured on proceeding to Shangai, where some splendid fortifications had been erected, which were nearly eight lis in circuit, and were commanded by General Nicu, (or Ox,) the governor, in person. He had ordered that his men should on no account whatever quit their posts, and that they should set all the barbarian ships on fire. But we were astounded both at the recklessness of the scoundrels, and the clouds of balls that descended; in spite of enormus guns, they effected a landing, carried off all the brass guns and destroyed the iron ones. This, however, did not content them; the English made their way to T'shiankiangfu on the Yangtsekiang, with intent to make themselves masters of the Great Canal, and see whether this would not compel the Emperor to make peace. The great monarch now lost all his courage: so he sent his relative, KLYING, who was passing his time with ILIPU, at Hangtshen in Tshekiang, with a commission to bring matters to a friendly issue with the barbarians. In the meanwhile, these insatiable fellows moved on at a swift pace to Nanking, where every requisite step was adopted as rapidly as it was practicable to get rid of them; the end being, that they extorted six millions of dollars on the spot.'

6

This result changes the character of the remainder of SHU's memorial: 'I became acquainted at Nanking with some of the barbarians, who afforded me such an insight into the real state of things in the other quarters of the globe, that my opinions and views underwent a very considerable revolution.' He goes on to admit, that although the wisdom of the Celestial Empire is of a very exalted character,' yet the inhabitants of the flower-bespangled land' were wanting in right notions of the state of foreign countries. They had Icoked upon the proffered concessions of the 'red English thieves' with contempt. 'It pleased the great lords of the land to kindle the Emperor's wrath against them to a pitch of frenzy; indeed the monarch's mother herself urged her son vehemently to exterminate them.' It never came into their minds that cannon or any other powder-missiles were needful;' they thought their walls alone were invincible; and they left the cost entirely out of the calculation. But, through the rapacity of the mandarins, and the actual preparations, thirty millions of taels were soon drained from the empire. The militia-men were embodied, and a large bounty was paid them; but as soon as they smelt danger, to a man the wretches took to their heels, so that we got absolutely nothing at all from their services. The regiments which had been brought from a distance, dissolved into air after they had lost the battle; so all that had been expended upon them disappeared with them. The construction of the fortresses was no small item in the expenditure: alas! no sooner did the barbarians get them into their clutches than they blew them straight into the air; and our cannon shared no better fate, for they were either destroyed or carried off; our powder was hurled into the sea, or turned to account in annihilating the labors of years and months.' Mean time the internal condition of the flowery land was any thing but auspicious: On either bank of the Yangtse hosts of freebooters held themselves in readiness to fall upon every inhabitant who had property to lose. All the trading which supplied millions of our subjects with bread was utterly paralysed, and our starving mariners resorted by thousands to robbery on the high sea, so as to render the whole coast unfit for navi

gation.

Every branch of industry stagnated in the provinces along the coast, and being the most flourishing of all, general misery spread to the farthest borders of the West, from which the internal parts of the empire receive their chief supplies. The Great Canal, which plentifully supplied the court with the very necessaries of life, and kept its coffers replenished, was in the hands of the barbarians. But the worst of all was, that the people who looked on and beheld the unhappy turn which matters took, began to regard the mandarins with scorn, and made friendly advances to our adversary. There was not one point where the delegates of the Son of Heaven met with support.' The final treaty with the 'outside barbarians' soon followed: Awful was the blow our national dignity had here to endure! I must candidly confess, that when the treaty was signed, and the roar of cannon proclaimed the event, it cut my heart to the quick like a sharp-edged razor. We had ceased to give law to the rest of mankind! We had recognized full freedom of intercourse: from this moment, we bade farewell to any total ban of foreigners for ever.' Old SHU counselled peace at an early day; and the inclination of the enemy to that end conciliated the good-will of the kind-hearted Celestial: Their deportment was exceedingly amiable and they had great modesty of tongue; their soldiers were quite unlike the warriors among ourselves, for they were very nicely clad; but what was most extraordinary, they, every man of them, carried arms on their shoulders. The lustre of gold resplended over the officers' uniforms, but there was no distinction of colors in the buttons they wore on their head-trappings; neither were the bravest and best among them adorned with peacock's feathers and herein at least, it must be admitted, they have a lesson to read out of our own books.' The sacrifices of the Chinese to their deities seem to have been a decided failure. Most of the Celestials, one would think, would scarcely fail to arrive at the conclusions expressed in the close of the annexed paragraph, 'as easy as 'Old SHU :''

Ar the outset of the war, all our generals offered up sacrifices to the gods of war, and their ensigns; ITKING, the terror-spreading commander, officiated in his own person, in order to make a sacrifice of the captured Englishmen to the ensigns; and struck off several heads with his own hands. LIN got up a host of processions for the purpose of propitiating the gods in our favor: and the Son of Heaven petitioned the Dalu Lama at Lhussa, to murmur up a series of prayers, so as to secure him victory; he proceeded repeatedly to the temple in person, and besought the in-dwellers to ordain days of fasting and penitence, for the purpose of bringing the heroes of ancient time to his aid. YuKIEN, it is reported, forgot himself so far as to curse the GOD of the Christians; and soon afterwards fell a victim to his inhuman fury, dying under general maledictions. Whenever the English legions entered our towns, the soldiers made it a favorite sport to break our gods in pieces; these, however, never came to their own defence! Now, had they been really possessed of any inherent might, surely they would have avenged themselves for the ignominy perpetrated upon them!'

6

SHU thus chants the praises of his mighty land,' and evidently with justice: 'We are a great nation. Look at the millions upon millions that swarm within our borders like ants; slavery is known only by name among us; every laborer is a free man, and we owe obedience to no man living but the Emperor. Our existence numbers thousands of years.' He confesses however the great ignorance of geography that prevails in China: 'We are complete strangers to the western parts of Asia; all we have learned of Africa is, that it is the land of black men; and we have latterly been made aware that there is another part of the world altogether, called 'the New World.' We could not have believed this, had not the ships which bear a flowery flag, and come from one of its continents, been in the habit of visiting our coast, and brought over heaps of dollars from this new country. This must, I think, be the land of gold and silver, which is so often mentioned in our histories, and takes away settlers from us, not one individual of whom has ever found his way back again. The practice began two thousand years ago. SHU looks, we think, with the eye of a seer upon the ultimate results of the war with China, and the establishment of foreign dominion there. He thinks many of the Celestials may hereafter settle on the western shores of our own Gold and Silver Land,' or on the 'great island called NewHolland, on the map which his barbarian acquaintance gave him;' and 'what great effects will there not flow therefrom?

WHEN We have disencumbered ourselves of the religion to which we are now subject, and breathe freer in the atmosphere and light of sound doctrines, will not China exercise an overwhelming influ

ence over the whole race of mankind? SHU is a man ancient in years, and will not see this new day dawn on his country, but he may yet be reserved for witnessing many and great events. He has quite forgotten himself in thus pouring forth what has now been stirring within his breast for months past. Did he dare to speak such things to his brethren in office, it is almost certain that his days would at once be brought to a close, as a traitor to his native land. Yet he is not the only man in China who holds these opinions; those of his nation, who have a heart that beats high for the well-being of their fellow subjects, hold them in common with old SHU, and can never return to their former errors and prejudices.'

There is something almost affecting in the following; coming as it does from a man of mark' (an old land-mark') among a people whose 'Great Emperor' only a comparatively short time ago ordered certain missionaries to 'go on board their ships, put up their big sails, and sail away at once over the top of the ocean, instead of staying round Canton, with lingering hopes, trying to make the people of the Middle Empire believe in the doctrines of their chief, J. CHRIST:'

WHAT Wrestling with old prejudices, what fierce struggling with himself has not Old SHU had to pass through, before he arrived at all these conclusions! But the more he dwells upon the subject under all its aspects, the more is he satisfied with their justness. A book has been given him to read, and he has read it through; it is entitled The New Testament; it is full of the most sacred treasures, and shows how a world, lost in sin, has been reconciled to GOD, the Emperor Supreme, by JESUS CHRIST, his son; but the strangers of the West are better informed on this topic than Old SHU. I beseech my friend, the reader of this treatise, to forgive its imperfectnesses. I have not set down a thousandth part of the emotions which agitate me. My mind is cast down beyond measure, exceedingly; but so soon as it is relieved from its burthen, I will sit down and write more entertaining matter; and the foreigner shall have the advantage of it. Our highly refined language, which is beyond the reach of most men to acquire, is, alas! a sad hindrance to our better acquaintance with one another. Fare thee well, indulgent reader; and store up Old SHU in the sanctuary of thy

remembrance!'

There was a line in the Chinese character, at the end of the Ancient's memorial,' of which the following is a literal translation: 'SHU, the faithful servant, formerly holding an appointment in the first Court of Justice, lays this submissively before the Great Man of the Government, whom he prays to welcome it in a friendly spirit. He bows himself over and over again.... IF you will take a bank-note, reader, and while you are folding it up according to direction, peruse the following lines, you will arrive at their meaning, with no little admiration for the writer's cleverness:

'I WILL tell you a plan for gaining wealth,
Better than banking, trading or leases;

Take a bank-note and fold it up,

And then you will find your wealth in-creases.

"This wonderful plan, without danger or loss,

Keeps your cash in your hands, and with nothing to trouble it,

And every time that you fold it across,

"T is plain as the light of the day that you double it.'

Of all nuisances' on the face of the globéd airth,' perhaps there is none that quite comes up to that of the professed public wrangler on religious topics. By this term, we mean the man who makes a business of going around the country and challenging every minister of eminence to a public discussion on some mooted point of theology, and sometimes even on the nature, designs, and attributes of DEITY. Not many divines of standing have escaped a challenge from some one or other of these religious lazaroni; but few, if any, to their honor be it written, have ever bestowed any notice on such challenges. Once in a while, however, some one of these over-zealous champions of a cause that needs not their aid, meets with a brother wrangler of a different faith, who is not unwilling to meet him in a public discussion, at a shilling a head. But such occasions almost invariably end in quarrels and personal abuse; and then the two combatants not unfrequently exhibit the effect of their own religious faith on their own tempers and practice in such wise as to call up the blush of shame on the countenance of the true Christian, confirm the old infidel in his unbelief, and make ten new scorners, while their labors convert not a solitary sinner from the error of his ways. The presumption of many of these itinerant disputants, is

hardly exceeded by their ignorance, great as that frequently is; but their vanity and selfcomplacency far outstrip either of those qualities. A friend the other day, in describing one of these religious gladiators, who by the by has been striving for the last twenty years to make a noise in the world, but without success, observed, that he belonged to that class of beings who are always chin deep in difficulties themselves, and yet fancy they are specially set apart by GOD to help Him out of dilemmas ! WE hear from Lon

don that the artists and writers engaged on 'PUNCH' are in a state of strike;' that, finding the publishers penurious and mean, they have united in establishing a larger journal, of the same character, called 'The Great Gun,' which is soon to usurp the place of the older favorite. The last numbers of PUNCH' however exhibit no falling off. Both pictorially and editorially, there is no lack of attraction. The fifteenth chapter of 'The Comic Blackstone' treats of Title by Forfeiture,' of various kinds; and affords us some pleasant examples of 'forfeiture by waste:'

'OPENING land to search for a mine is waste in general, and waste of time in particular; but if there was a mine commenced, the tenant may mine away with impunity. There is, however, an old case in the books,' of a plug-hole being on the estate of A, when B, the tenant for years, claimed the right of opening a mine by virtue of the plug-hole. The point was reserved for all the Judges; and HOLT, Chief Justice, said Pooh, pooh! the plug-hole is not large enough to let the tenant in. Another of the Judges followed with the observation, that 'He thought at first there was something in the plug-hole, and he had probed it very patiently, but there was no soundness at the bottom. It seemed at first to savor of something, but if the Courts permitted tenants to wedge themselves into the fee through such apertures as these, there must be an end to every thing.' It went off on this point; and the case has never been opened since for argument. It is waste on the part of a tenant if he cuts his landlord's timber; but if the tenant cuts his own stick, it is sometimes waste on the part of the landlord to go after him. Another species of forfeiture is a breach of the customs of a copyhold; as, where the rent is a pepper-corn, the tenant must seek out the landlord and give him pepper' to the amount specified. The learned and facetious BRACTON remarks, that Where the rent is pepper it is easily muster'd,' a joke almost as venerable as the subject by which it is elicited.' Another method of forfeiture is by becoming a bankrupt, when every thing goes to the assignee, to enable him to declare dividends, sometimes to the tune of two-pence a pound, like black-heart cherries. A bankrupt seised in tail has it instantly cut off, or at least so much of the tail as belongs to him.'

There is a great deal of forcible satire in the report of a 'Meeting of Game,' to adopt resolutions in favor of more vigorous measures' on the part of their protectors. A 'sedate, middle-aged hare,' in seconding the resolution, remarked, 'that new vigor was necessary, otherwise their order' would soon be confounded with that of rabbits and vulgar barndoor poultry. Though suffering under severe domestic affliction, he could not refrain from appearing among them. A week ago, he was a happy husband; the meeting now beheld a disconsolate widower. The wife of his bosom had been snared from him by a laborer; yes, one of themselves, for it was their common cause, had been caught and killed by a low unlicensed person, and devoured by a boor and his wretched family! Had his wife been killed by a gentleman, by one duly licensed to shoot, he trusted that he should have been the last of husbands to complain; but to be butchered by the starving vulgar; to be consumed for a mere dinner, not used as a dainty; it was too much to endure with resignation. He could have been content to lose his wife to the nobility or gentry, but that she should have been eaten without currant-jelly sauce was too much for his conjugal affection.' Mr. SILVERCROW, a cock-pheasant in high feather, in moving another resolution, took rather a different view from the hare last up: Was it not a cause of gratification to all of them, that at that very moment the English laborer was made a slave to them; that even the English farmer was compelled to see them devour his grain, nor yet, but at his peril, to kill or wound them? Had they not the grand satisfaction of tempting the fingers of famine to break its fast and the law at the same time? Had they not the sweet consolation to know that at that moment there were scores and scores of men, husbands and fathers, locked up in gaol, and their bits of household furniture seized and sold, for indignities offered, ay, even to members of that meeting? Beside, if they had any wrong to complain of against men in general, were they not sweetly revenged for the injustice? For himself, he never thought of the men that he and his fellows caused to be locked up for felons, that in the exulting feeling of his high privilege he did not crow the louder for

it.' Mr. SHORTBILL, an elderly and highly-respectable partridge, read a paragraph from a provincial journal, to the effect that a lad had been sent to prison for looking at seven ' wires,' which somebody had set to catch forbidden game. Such intelligence, the speaker observed, must be especially sweet to the feelings of the meeting, as it assured them of the more than paternal care exercised toward them by their enlightened landlord. Looking upon himself as of the aristocracy of birds, he could not but feel grateful for such protection. Seeing that the country had a superabundant population, nothing could be wiser than to continually sacrifice the peasant to the pheasant. Instead, however, of fining a laborer for looking at wires or at any game soever, he would stop the chance of such disrespect, by compelling every laborer, unless upon lawful work, to walk blindfolded. He hoped another session would not pass away ere this was done. It was an axiom that could not be too sternly preached, that the poor were made for game, and not game for the poor.' This may seem playful to you, reader; but be assured that in England it 'bit like a serpent and stung like an adder.' . . . THEY have a fine specimen of a TIGG, in Boston. Witness the following, from the hand of a pleasant correspondent: Few strangers of taste sojourn in the eastern emporium for any length of time, without finding their way to HANNIBAL RICE'S fashionable hair-dressing and shampooing saloon, somewhere near the new court-house. HANNIBAL stands at the tip-top of his profession, and is a prince of shampooers. His saloon is a place of general resort, and many rare fellows may be found among his customers. One Sunday morning not long since, a slovenly-genteel stranger, wrapped in a magnificent cloak, seated himself in one of HANNIBAL's velvet cushions, and presenting a head of massy black hair, requested the favor of a shampoo from the hands of the presiding genius himself. I've got a snapping head-ache, HANNIBAL,' said the stranger, in a familiar tone; ⚫ but no matter. Do your best; for I've a notion that shampooing will relieve me.' The barber did his best; and, after arranging the hair in the most exquisite form, turned to another customer; while the stranger, rising from his seat, surveyed himself in the mirror with an air of entire satisfaction. I like your style of doing things, HANNIBAL,' said he, with a patronizing air; 'it's superb! And then my head-ache, too—that's clean gone. But bless me ! my cranium feels as if it had been enlarged considerably. Does shampooing make the head grow, Mr. RICE?' The barber hesitated, and then looked at an old customer who sat on the sofa, as if at a loss for an answer, the gentleman, thus silently appealed to, nodded in the affirmative. 'Yes,' said HANNIBAL, turning to the stranger; 'I believe it doos have that effect-a leetle.' 'I wonder if I can get my hat on?' continued the stranger, half to himself: 'Ah, yes! It's a tight fit, though. NIBAL; I feel perfectly well again, and think I can safely as a sovereign remedy for the most inveterate head-ache. you are more at leisure, I will call again, and give you an you!' replied HANNIBAL, bowing thrice to his kind customer: 'very much obliged to you!' The stranger returned a bow, and then throwing his cloak around him, departed with a pompous strut. HANNIBAL turned to his assistant: 'CESAR!' said he: 'that's a fine gemS'pose he paid you double price for that operation of mine; a quarter for his hair, and a quarter for curing his head-ache.' He! he!' replied CESAR, with a broad grin: he didn't pay me nuffin!' It is needless perhaps to mention that the gentleman did n't call again. ・ ・ ・ THERE is something so characteristic, so exceedingly well put,' in the following remarks upon a theme which we have more than once handled in these pages, that we cannot resist the inclination to quote them: They are from the 'Peter Ploddy Papers :'

men.

But no matter, Mr. HANrecommended your shampooing To-morrow, if you please, when affidavit to that effect.' Thank

THE true conversationist requires as nice a balance of qualities as the adroit swordsman. He should have an eye, an ear and a tongue, equally on the alert, perfectly under control, and skilled to act together. It is his duty to be able to mark the moment when a slumbering idea is awakened in the mind of another, and to afford opportunity for its development. When the thought quivers in an almost inaudible murmur upon the lips of the timid, it is not to be suppressed in premature death by the rattling noise of practised confidence; not to be driven over, if we may so describe it, by each hackney cab that thunders up the street. It claims to be deferentially educed, not so much by a display of patronising encouragement, which is almost as fatal as harsh disregard, but by that respectful attention which creates no painful sense of inferiority. He cannot pretend to civilization, who, in his