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Mrs. Pilkington very fternly, he was fure fhe had ftolen it. She affirmed very ferioufly, fhe had not. Upon which he looked for it, and found it where he himfelf had laid it: "Tis well for you," faid he," that ↑ "have got it, or I would have charged you with "theft." 66 Why, pray, Sir," faid the, " fhould I "be fufpected more than any other perfon in the company "For a very good reafon," said he, "be"caufe you are the pooreft."
At their going away, the Dean handed Mrs. Pilkington down all the fteps to the coach, thanking them for the honour of their company, at the fame time flipping into her hand as much money as Mr. Pilkington and she had given at the offering in the morning, and coach-hire alfo; which fhe durft not refufe, left the fhould have been deemed as great a blockhead as the parfon who refused the thick wine.
In one of the Dean's periodical fits of deafnefs he fent for Mrs Pilkington; who having come, he brought out to her a large book, finely bound in Turkey lea ther, and handfomely gilt; "This," faid he,
is à tranflation of the epiftles of Horace, a prefent to me from the author; 'tis a fpecial good cover; but I have a mind there fhould be fomething valuable within fide of it." So, taking out his penknife, he cut out all the leaves clofe to the inner margin. 'Now," faid he, "I will give thefe what they. greatly want," and put them all into the fire. Your task, Madam, is to pafte in these letters in "this cover, in the order I fhall give them to you: I intended to do it myself, but that I thought it might be a pretty amufement for a child; fo I fent for you." She told him fhe was extremely proud "to be honoured with his commands; but requested have leave to read the letters as fhe went on. Why, faid the Dean, " provided you will acknowledge yourfelf amply rewarded for your trouble, I don't much care if I indulge you fo far."
In reading the letters, fhe could not avoid remarking to the Dean, that, notwithstanding the friendship Mr. Pope profeffed for Mr. Gay, he could not forbear a great many fatirical, or, if the might be allowed to
fay fo, envious remarks on the fuccefs of the Beggar's Opera. The, Dean very frankly owned, he did not think Mr. Pope was fo candid to the merit of other writers as he ought to be. She then ventured to afk the Dean, whether he thought the lines Mr. Pope adadreffes him with in the beginning of the Dunciad, were any compliment to him? viz.
O thou! whatever title please thine ear.
"I believe," faid he, they were meant as fuch, but they are very stiff. Indeed, Sir," faid the, "he is fo perfectly a master of harmonious numbers, that, had his heart been the least affected with the fubject, he must have writ better. How cold, how "forced, are his lines to you, compared with your' "to him?"
Hail, happy Pope, whofe generous mind, &c.
"Here we fee, the mafterly poet, and the warm, fin-. "cere, generous friend, while he, according to the "character he gives of Mr. Addifon, damns with faint “ praife," Well," replied the Dean, "I'll fhew "you a late letter of his." He did fo; and Mrs. Pilkington was furprised to find it filled with law and ungentleman-like reflections, both on Mr. Gay, and the two roble perfons who honoured him with their patronage after his difappointment at court, "Well, "Madam," faid the Dean, "what do you think of "that letter?" (feeing fhe had gone quite through it), Indeed, Sir," (replied the) "I am forry I have read. "it; for it gives me reafon to think, there is no fuch thing as a fincere friend to be met with in "the world." "Why," replied he," authors. "are as jealous of their prerogative as kings and can no more bear a rival in the empire of wit, than a "morarch could in his dominions. Mrs. Pilkington. then obferving a Latin fentence writ in Italics, defired. the Dean to explain it, "No," replied he, fmiling, "I'll leave that for your husband to do. I'll fend "for
for him to dine with us, and, in the mean time, "we'll go and take a walk in Naboth's vineyard." of Where may that be, pray, Sir?" faid the.
"a garden," said the Dean, "I cheated one of my "neighbours out of." When they entered the gar den, or rather the field, which was fquare, and inclosed with a stone-wall, the Dean asked her how the liked it?" Why, pray, Sir," faid he, "where is "the garden?" "Look behind you," faid he, She did fo; and obferved the fouth wall was lined with brick, and a great number of fruit-trees planted against it, which being then in bloffom, looked very beautiful. "What are you. fo intent on?” said the Dean. "The opening bloom," replied fhe; which brought Waller's lines to her remembrance.
Hope waits upon the flow'ry prime:
"Oh !" replied he, "you are in a poetical vein; I "thought you had been taking notice of my wall. "'Tis the best in Ireland. When the mafons were
building it, (as moft tradesmen are rogues) I watch "ed them very close, and as often as they could, they "put in a rotten ftone; of which, however, I took no notice, till they had built three or four perches beyond it. Now, as I am an abfolute monarch in the liberties, and king of the mob, my way with "them was, to have the wall thrown down to the place where I obferved the rotten ftone; and by do.. ing fo five or fix times, the workmen were at last "convinced it was their intereft to be honest," "Or elfe, Sir," faid Mrs. Pilkington, "your wall "would have been as tedious a piece of work as Pe-, "nelope's web, if all that was done in the day was to be undone at night." 66 Well," anfwered the Dean," I find you have poetry for every occafion "but as you cannot keep pace with me in walking, I "would have you fit down on that little bank, till *** you are rested, or I tired, to put us more upon a
She feated herself, and away the Dean walked, or rather trotted as hard as ever he could drive, could not help fmiling at his odd gait; for the thought to herself he had written fo much in praife of horles, that he was refolved to imitate them as nearly as he could; As fhe was indulging this fancy, the Dean returned
is it not truth?"
returned to her, and gave her a ftrong confirmation partiality to thofe animals. I have been confidering, Madam, as I walked," faid he, "what a fool Mr. Pilkington was to marry you: for he could have afforded to keep a horfe for less mo ney than you coft him; and that, you must confefs; would have given him better exercife and more pleafure than a wife. Why, you laugh, and don't answer me. I must "answer you, Sir," replied fhe, with another ques "ftion; Pray, how can a bachelor judge of this mat "ter?" "I find," faid he, " you are vain enough "to give yourself the preference." "I do, Sir," replied the," to that fpecies here; to a Honyhnhnm, I would, as becomes me, give preference. But, Sir, 'tis going to rain." "I hope not, faid he, for that will coft me fixpence for a coach for you," (the garden being at fome diftance from the houfe), Come, hafte; O how the tefter trembles "in my pocket!" She obeyed, and they got in a doors juft time enough to efcape a heavy fhower. Thank God," faid the Dean, "I have faved my money. Here, you fellow," (to the fervant)" carry this fixpence to the lame old man that fells gingerbread in the corner, because he tries to do fomething, and does not beg."
"Mrs. Pilkington was fhewed into a little ftreet-par lour, where was Mrs. Brent, his house-keeper. "Here, fays he, "Mrs. Brent, take care of this child, while I “ take my walk out within doors." The Dean then ran up the great stairs, down one pair of back-ftairs, up another, in fo violent a manner, that Mrs. Pilking ton could not help expreffing her uneafinefs to Mrs. Brent, left he fhould fall, and be hurted. Mrs. Brent faid, it was a customary exercife with him, when the weather did not permit him to walk abroad.
Mrs. Brent then told Mrs. Pilkington of the Dean's charity; of his giving above half of his yearly income. in private penfions to decayed families; and keeping 500 l. in the conftant fervice of induftrious poor, t which he lent out 5 1. at a time, and took the payment back at Is. a-week, which, fhe obferved, did them
more fervice than if he gave it them entirely, as it obliged them to work, and at the fame time kept up his charitable fund for the affiftance of many. "You **cannot imagine," faid she, "what numbers of poor "tradefmen, who have even wanted proper tools to carry on their work, have, by this fmall loan, been put into a profperous way, and brought up their families in credit. The Dean," added the, 66 has found out a new method of being charitable, in which, however, I believe, he will have but few followers; which is, to debar himself of what he calls the fuperfluities of life, in order to administer "the neceffities of the diftreffed. You juft now faw an instance of it, the money a coach would have "coft him, he gave to a poor man unable to walk.
When he dines alone, he drinks a pint of beer, and "gives away the price of a pint of wine. And thus " he acts in numberless inftances,"
The Dean came to dine with Mr. and Mrs. Pil. kington at their Lilliputian palace, as he called it; and, who would have thought it? he just looked into the parlour, and ran up into the garret, then into Mrs, Pilkington's bed-chamber and library, and from thence down to the kitchen; and the houfe being very clean, he complimented her upon it, and told her that was his cuftom; and that it was from the cleanlinefs of the garret and kitchen, he judged of the housewifery of the mistress of the houfe; for no doubt but a flut would have the room clean where the guests were to be entertained.
He was fometimes very rude, even to his fuperiors; of which the following ftory, related to Mrs. Pilking ton by himself, may ferve as one inftance amongst a thoufand others,
The laft time he was in London, he went to dine with the Earl of Burlington, who was then but newly married. The Earl being willing, 'tis fuppofed, to have fome diverfion, did not introduce him to his lady, nor mention his name. It is to be observed, that his gown was generally very rufty, and his person no way extraordinary. After dinner, faid the Dean, "Lady Burlington, I hear you can fing; fing me a fong."