of doing higher homage to her husband, and bringing greater ability to bear upon the advancement of his intellectual and moral good.

Indeed, what is the possession of talent to a woman, when considered in her own character, separately, and alone? The possession of a dangerous heritage-a jewel which cannot with propriety be worn-a mine of wealth which has no legitimate channel for the expenditure of its vast resources. But let her find this natural and lawful medium for its exercise, and we see at once in what an enviable position she is placed. We see at once the height from which she can stoop, the costliness of the sacrifices she is consequently enabled to make, and the evidences, no less valuable, which she can thus bring forward as proofs of her affection.

Nothing, however, can be more delicate and trying than the situation of such a woman, and especially when her husband is inferior to herself; but if he should be absolutely silly, it would require more skill than the writer of these pages can boast, to know what mode of treating him to recommend; for build him up as you will before company, and much may be done in this way by the exercise of delicacy and tact, a truly grovelling man will sink again, and there is no help for it. The charitable conclusion is, that a woman so situated must be content to reap the consequences of her own folly, in having made so unsuitable a choice. The best friend on earth would be unable to assist her, nor could the sagest counsel rectify her mistake.

In the case of a highly-gifted woman, even where there is an equal or superior degree of talent possessed by her husband, nothing can be more injudicious, or more fatal to her happiness, than an exhibition even of the least disposition to presume upon such gifts. Let her husband be once subjected to a feeling of jealousy of her importance, which, without the strictest watchfulness, will be liable to arise, and her peace of mind and her free agency are alike destroyed for the remainder of her life; or at any rate, until

she can convince him afresh, by a long continuance of the most scrupulous conduct, that the injury committed against him was purely accidental, and foreign alike to her feelings and her inclinations.

Until this desirable end is accomplished, vain will be all her efforts to render homage to her husband as a superior. He will regard all such attempts as acts of condescension, assumed for no other purpose than that of showing how gracefully she can stoop. In vain may she then endeavor to assist or direct his judgment; he will in such a case most naturally prefer to thwart her, for the purpose of proving his own independence and his power.

The same observations will apply, though in a milder degree, to cases in which there have been any great advantages of wealth or station on the side of the wife. The most unselfish and generous consideration, accompanied with the strictest care, are necessary here to avoid giving occasion of offence to that manly pride which startles at nothing so much as owing dignity to a woman, and being reminded of the obligation.

But if, on the one hand, this situation presents a narrow and critical walk with regard to action, on the other, it affords a boundless and delightful field in which feeling may expatiate; for it is scarcely possible to imagine any consciousness more happy than that of having been the means of conferring affluence or honor upon the being we most love: and if the consequences are such as lead to a trembling apprehension of being perpetually liable to give pain, they also admit of a noble exultation in being enabled by the same means to give an adequate degree of pleasure.

With this feeling, subdued by Christian meekness, and cherished only in her "heart of hearts," it might almost be forgiven to any woman secretly to exult in being favorably distinguished; for to render illustrious a beloved name, and to shed a glory around an honored brow, is at once the most natural, and the noblest ambition, of which the female mind is capable.

In order to render more clear and definite the observations which have been called forth by the subject of this chapter, it has been almost necessary to act the ungracious part of pointing out instances of failure, rather than success. This has been done, however, with the most sincere belief, that such instances, notwithstanding the frequency of their occurrence, arise, for the most part, entirely out of ignorance, or want of thought and observation, and are as frequently accompanied by an amiable and praiseworthy desire to be in all things, such a friend and companion as a reasonable husband would wish.

And after all, what is it that man seeks in the companionship of woman?-An influence like the gentle dew, and the cheering light, more felt throughout the whole of his existence, in its softening, healing, harmonizing power; than acknowledged by any single act, or recognised by any certain rule. It is in fact a being to come home to, in the happiest sense of that expression.

Poetic lays of ancient times were wont to tell, how the bold warrior returning from the fight would doff his plumed helmet, and, reposing from his toils, lay bare his weary limbs, that woman's hand might pour into their wounds the healing balm. But never wearied knight, nor warrior covered with the dust of battle-field, was more in need of woman's soothing power, than are those care-worn sons of toil, who struggle for the bread of life, in our more peaceful and enlightened days. And still, though the romance of the castle, the helmet, the waving plume, and the

"Clarion wild and high," may all have vanished from the scene; the charm of woman's influence lives as brightly in the picture of domestic joy, as when she placed the wreath of victory on the hero's brow. Nay, more so, for there are deeper sensibilities at work, thoughts more profound, and passions more intense, in our great theatre of intellectual and moral strife; than where the contest was for martial fame, and force of arms procured for each competitor lis share of glory, or of wealth.

Amongst all the changes which have taken place in the condition of mankind, it is then not the least of woman's privileges, that her influence remains the same, except only as it is deepened and perfected as her own character approaches towards perfection. It is not the least of her privileges, that she can still be all to man which his necessities require; that he can retire from the tumult of the world, and seek her society with a zest which nothing can impair, so long as she receives him with a true and faithful heart— true to the best and kindest impulses of which her nature is capable; and faithful to the sacred trust committed to her care.

And that it is so, how many an English home can witness-how many a fireside welcome-how many a happy meeting after absence painfully prolonged! Yes, there are scenes within the sacred precincts of the household hearth, which, not the less because no stranger's eye beholds them, repay, and richly too, dark days of weary conflict, and long nights of anxious care. But who shall paint them? Are they not graven on the hearts of English wives? and those who hold the picture there, in all its beauty, vividness, and truth, would scarcely wish to draw aside the veil, which screens it from the world.

CHAPTER V.

CONFIDENCE AND TRUTH.

WITH regard to the behavior of wives towards their husbands, there is one great end to be attained, so unmeasurably beyond all others in its influence upon their happiness and their usefulness, that all which is requisite for the promotion of their true interest, might be summed up in this one recommendation-that the wife should endeavor, before every other earthly thing, and next to the salvation of her soul, to obtain and keep her husband's confidence. Without this, the marriage tie is indeed a galling chain; and the woman who subjects herself to it, less enviable than a real slave. With this-with

the perfect trust of a nobler nature reposing on her own, woman is raised to a degree of moral elevation, which, in her single state, she never could have known; and if her own disposition be generous and grateful, she will feel it a sacred obligation not to abuse this trust.

But the great and important question arises, how is this trust to be secured? With the most ardent desire to enjoy this, the chief good of married life, and the foundation upon which all its happiness must rest, there are two ways in which woman may effectually fail—intellectually, and morally. In the first, she may fail from want of knowledge; in the second, from want of principle.

In the first instance, whatever there may be in her conduct or conversation exhibiting a want of judgment, of that perception of fitness and adaptation, which is invaluable in the female character, and of a proper acquaintance with common things, is calculated to weaken the confidence of her husband in her ability, whatever her inclination may be, to make a good wife, a prudent mistress, or a judicious mother. It is in vain complaining that this sentence is a hard one, when her heart is right, and when she really does her best. It is in vain complaining that her husband does not trust her, either with the knowledge of his affairs, or the management of her own. Confidence in one being is not a matter of choice in another. It is what we ourselves must purchase by an absence of failure on those points, in which the interests of another party are dependent upon us.

If, then, a husband finds in his wife a degree of ignorance which renders her incapable of judging rightly in common things, if he finds that she has never made any proper use of her powers of observation, that she has not been in the habit of thinking to any rational purpose, of discriminating, comparing, or drawing right conclusions from what she has seen and heard, it would be hard indeed to require him to believe that she will act with prudence and propriety as the mistress of a house; and the natural consequence is, that she must be watched, sus

pected, and in some degree treated as a child.

If, therefore, in a previous work I have earnestly recommended to the Daughters of England an early, and diligent cultivation of their mental powers, it has not been that such embellishments of character as are classed under the head of "Cleverness, Learning, and Knowledge," or "Taste, Tact, and Observation," should merely give zest to conversation, or throw an intellectual charm over the society of the drawing-room; it is that the happy individual who possesses these advantages, may, on becoming a wife, become also a companion in whom her husband can perfectly, and at all times, confide.

There are, however, cases in which the want of this confidence falls hardly, because it is the inevitable result of circumstances, over which the wife in her single state had no control. One of these is where the mind is naturally weak; and here the wife would certainly act most wisely, by placing her actions and opinions under the direction of her husband, and allowing herself to be treated accordingly.

But there are also those, who, from no fault of their own, have, before marriage,.enjoyed few advantages as regards mental cultivation. In this case, much may be done in the way of making up for loss time; and where a studious desire to do so is evinced, where a respectful and judicious reference to the husband's opinion is sometimes made, and at other times a still more judicious silence observed, these proofs of good sense and right feeling, will go a long way towards obtaining the confidence desired.

But a far more serious, and it is to be feared more frequent reason for the loss of this invaluable treasure, is a moral one. And here, so many causes meet and combine in their operation, that it would require no common degree of knowledge of the human heart to be able to point them out with perspicuity and effect. The first thing I shall specify in relation to this part of the subject is, the essential importance there is, that every husband should feel himself perfectly

safe with his wife. "Safe!" exclaims the worthy helpmeet, "with whom could he be safe, if not with me? Do I not watch him, care for him, and wait upon him with a solicitude that would screen him from every approach of harm?" All this may be true enough, and yet you may occasionally have taken advantage of your intimacy, for disclosing weaknesses on his part, which need not otherwise have been known; you may have marked your occasion when company was present, for throwing out hints against him, which you dared not have uttered when alone; or you may have betrayed an evident triumph before your friends, or your servants, on obtaining over him some advantage in opinion, or argument.

Although such offences as these may appear but very trifling items, when separately enumerated, yet their number and variety sometimes make up a sum of considerable magnitude and importance, as they operate upon individual feeling, and evince too clearly a want of delicacy, generosity, or real affection. They lead, in short, to the very natural feeling, on the part of the husband, that his wife is not the bosom friend he had fondly imagined her, that she knows no perfect identity of self with him, but has separate interests to which he and his affairs are liable at any time to be made subservient.

I have already said, that the dignity of man should always be studiously maintained; but there is also a delicate and respectful manner of giving way to a husband in little things, which is the surest means of obtaining concessions on his part, in those which are of greater moment, simply because, having found his wife generally yielding, considerate, and respectful to his wishes, he cannot suppose she will differ from him without some good and sufficient reason for doing so.

Upon the same principle, a wise woman will never be too requiring. She will neither demand from her husband those personal services which are degrading to a man and a gentleman, nor weary his patience by endeavoring to tease him out of every fault; for though the great end of marriage should

be mutual improvement, it is no more than fair, that the wife should allow her husband at least as many faults as he allows her. At all events, when little defects of character, and especially such as may be called constitutional, are quietly and charitably borne with, much strength is gained for making a stand against those which are more serious; and the husband who is kindly permitted to rest himself, if he chooses, in an awkward position, and to wear an unbecoming coat because it is a favorite, will be all the more likely, at the solicitation of his wife, to give up habits which are really more objectionable.

All individual peculiarities, which may not exactly be called faults, should be conceded to in the same manner; always remembering,. that what we allow to men on the ground of their love of importance and authority, they equal, and often surpass, in what they yield to our weakness, incapacity, and occasional perverseness. There are many of these peculiarities, that, like our own, might excite a degree of ridicule, which, however, ought never to extend beyond mere playfulness, and not even so far as that, except where it is received in the same spirit.

If it were possible to whisper upon paper, I should here avail myself of a convenient aside, to hint that there is often a great deal of unnecessary bustle and importance when men have any thing to do. But why should we mind that-why should we not allow them the satisfaction of feeling, that as regards the little world in which they rule supremely, all space is theirs, and all time? and if we have not patience to look on, and see the order of our house overturned, our dinner waiting, our servants called away from their work, one to fetch paper, another string, and a third to wait until the mighty affair is complete; we have at least the advantage, when the same thing has to be done again, of taking the opportunity to do it ourselves.

A respectful deportment, and a complying disposition, evinced in these and similar cases, with a general willingness to accom

modate all household arrangements to a husband's wishes, making every other consideration subservient to his convenience, will ensure for the wife, who consistently does this, a large portion of that confidence upon which her influence and her happiness so much depend.

But the greatest of all claims upon this confidence has yet to be considered; and would there were no occasion, in relation to this subject, so much as to whisper these words into the ear of an English wife-Never deceive! Were all men reasonable, temptations to do so would be infinitely less than they are; for difficult indeed is the lot of that woman, who would act uprightly, whose judgment and principles are good, and who is yet thwarted by a narrow-minded, weak, selfish, or low-principled man.

Let us imagine the case of such a wife, so situated that her lord is absent for the greater part of every day. Let us imagine her, too, surrounded by a family, having the interests of children, servants, and dependents to care for, and anxious to regulate the affairs of her household according to the principles of justice and integrity. She has her own conscience for her guide in all this, and if it be an enlightened one, how is she to make all her actions accord with the views of a husband, who is unenlightened, perverse, or partial, and perhaps jealous of her influence, and consequently determined to thwart her plans? Yet how is she decidedly to oppose his wishes, consistently with the respect which is due from a wife?

Surely the situation of such a woman, could it be contemplated in all its difficulties, and under all its gloomy shades, might be sufficient to deter any one whose married lot was not yet fixed, from risking her happiness with such a man.

If a woman thus situated, could by any honest means contrive to manage her husband, so that he should not know it, I think | the wisest advocate for the supremacy of the loftier sex, would scarcely deny her such a privilege; and unquestionably there are cases in which unreasonable husbands are made

both happier and better, by being thus managed. Besides, the general order of a household, the direction of servants, and the influence of masters and mistresses over their dependents and inferiors, require that if good sense, right feeling, and sound principles, exist on one side, they should not be made subservient to ignorance, prejudice, and caprice, on the other.

I have said that all women have their rights, and it would be wise to begin early in married life to act upon the principle, which allows to every wife a little sphere of domestic arrangements, with which the husband shall not feel that he has any business to interfere, except at her request, and into which a reasonable man would not wish to obtrude his authority, simply because the operations necessary to be carried on in that department of his household, are alike foreign to his understanding and his tastes. To submit every little act of domestic management to the opinion of a husband, would be unquestionably to have one half of them at least either defeated in their object, or immediately interdicted, from no other reason than pure ignorance of their nature, cause, and effect. Thus, unless a husband can feel sufficient confidence in his wife, to allow her to rule with undisputed authority in this little sphere, her case must be a pitiable one indeed.

I have repeated the word little, because I believe it is from an ambitious desire to extend the limits of this sphere, that many have brought trouble upon themselves, by having their authority called in question, more than it ever would have been, had they remained satisfied with a narrower field for its exercise.

But delicacy, and strict fairness, are both required on the part of the wife, to ensure to herself this desirable allowance of free agency, for she must remember, that her husband has also his appropriate sphere of action, and a much more extensive one than hers, in which she has no right to interfere, because, as in the case already stated, she is incapable of understanding what is necessary there; and if on both sides there should be the exercise of this delicacy and fairness, in avoiding all